Good heavens, that spy ring has gone absolutely mad! They laid down their own lives trying to wipe out what they had created, to prevent us from laying our righteous hands upon it, that we might not understand what it is they had wrought. They summoned a foul beast from the shadowfell, at least, we thought it had come from the shadowfell. A prodigiously large falsehood of a skeleton sprang forth from a portaland did battle with us. It threatened to choke the life from my friends with its poisonous breath, the very words and roars from its mouth being vile filth and quite draining to the vigor. I could not allow such disgusting nonsense to stream forth unchecked, and so I leaped into the maw of the beast. It’s onslaught was merciless, but with the helix as my guide, no attack would pierce my side deeply enough to bring me down. Killroy clambered into the miscreant’s eye socket and together, we assailed it from within the belly of the beast while Gough, Carlyle, and Rasta attacked the alien pillars that breathed unnatural life into the portal. With it’s energy source cut off, a final triumphant blow ended our struggle.
Having won, we examined the beast, realizing it to be made of some insidious black metal framework, its hue as though i were gazing into the nightside eclipse, it’s unholy crosswork a wordless chamber of despair. It filled me with unease, but digging deeper we found several magical weapons powering the monstrosity. We appropriated them for our own cause, and set out to report our deeds to the dragon that lives within these caverns, and later to the head of the riverboat guild.
But alas! Admiral Sunglasses visited earlier, and bore ill tidings! The Second Phaumeturgical Dominion was engaged in full scale war with a people not readily known to any!
The heavy weight of this news was softened by the lovely Nugget that delivered it, her demeanour and appearance far more palatable than any Rare Candy. Indeed, Sinneka did spring forth from a barrel most unsuspecting, and told of us here boresom adventures with Admiral Sunglasses. A twinge of jealousy ruffled my tail feathers, as I do dislike that man so, but there are larger matters we must attend to! She told us of the nature of the invaders to the North, as it so happened that they arose from beyond the Cosmos! This “Iron Bulwark” was almost certainly those dastardly postman murderers that worshiped Bane! Filthy goblins! We thanked her, and told her of our plan to visit the Church of Helix, where we would receive further guidance and decide on our path.
With our new hot air balloon ship, we would make the journey in record time! We shoved off without delay, and as Captains of this vessel we bore spectacle to a beautiful sunset as we made our final approach!
Captain Killroy keeps dragging that unconscious necromancer around. It is starting to unnerve me, but I dare not question him. It is a matter between him and his God, it is not my place to intervene. But for that man’s sake, I hope that Helix guides him past this ledge.
Acting Captain Abba Leno, Red Knight of the Helix