Fantastical Outerspace

Of Ogre Panties and Daring Rescues

Continuing our approach, we set the ship down in some open farmlands near the church. The residents were quite shocked, but were somewhat more accepting once we revealed our identity and my affiliation with the Fossil. Even so, the villagers were taken aback by our vessel, and by our, ah, “companion” that Killroy dragged along with him.

Venturing to the church, we were greeted by my mentor, The Keeper. Not even I know how old he is. The man is enshrouded in mystery. Before we could relate our ill tidings, he told us of their own: The church had been assailed just one night prior by a group of plunderous bandits! They stole the Sphere of Planar Mastery, and their exotic fighting style was enough to outpace even my mentor who would have fought them off! What’s more, my good friend AJ’s sword was sliced cleanly in twain by some kind of spatial hoo ha magic! What a strange world it is.

“Borrowing” a detective kit from a lovely young flower of a wizard, we explored deep within the sanctum for any clues that might lead us to our Old Man Jenkins. I found several footprints that looked to be the result of heated combat, and The Keeper confirmed this. Judging by the spacing of them, it looked as though these enemies were capable of some limited form of flight, and as they disappeared right outside the warded walls of the church, also of teleportation. Curiously, their footprints were slightly smaller than that of an average size person of fighting stature, but what could it mean?

Rubbing my temples, I decided it was no longer time to use this kit, and grabbing the moonstone from its pedestal, I clutched it to my chest and beseeched it for its guidance. A yellow orb in the night sky, grand in stature and fullness, taunted the landscape. A wolf cried out and was immediately silenced.

According to the Keeper, this could be a vision of one of our own’s impending doom. Aurora, a young longtooth shifter, had foolishly gone out on her own to investigate a meteor impact site, and has not been seen for many hours. We set out post haste to take matters into our own hands.

As we closed the distance to the impact site, we found both footprints and, thanks to Gough’s incredible talent of perception (I am at times decidedly not convinced that man is blind, yet at other times I am truly confounded by his apparent lack of sight. This man is an interesting one, yet one of my most dependable allies.) we heard several voices up ahead, discerning them to be three ogres, a young woman, and a man.

I tried to effect a sneak attack, but as I emerged from the bushes my jaw dropped, and perhaps it was the noise of it hitting the ground that alerted them to my presence. These ogres were using their man parts as a bludgeon! The absolute shamelesness! Had they no decency? Surely even Ogres know better! Even so, the preposterous size of these “clubs” was quite impressive. As we engaged them, however, it became apparent that the size of a weapon is not important, but rather how one wields said weapon. (Though it is important to note that my weapon is both large AND expertly wielded, as is true for the rest of our party, now that i think of it…) We made short work of the ogres, but I struggled with the old man, who was secretly a pervert who transformed into a delicate she ogre wearing the gaudiest of pantaloons i had ever seen. I was so taken aback by his gall that I was unable to focus on my swordsmanship and could not overcome his defense. As his friends fell, the deviant cowardly withdrew by turning into a cloud of gas and flew away. He did, however, leave behind his ogre pantaloons, which Killroy did affix most comicly to our prisoner’s head.

Aurora, who had been protecting my baby, thanked us for rescuing her. We took her back to the church, where we spoke again with the Keeper, this time disclosing all we had learned of Kupola, the Iron Bulwark, Vanilla Slice, and dead Tiamat slumbering within our sun. He racked his brain for answers, and suggested that perhaps the reason so many extraterrestrial foes had come here was that they were drawn to Tiamat’s power. In any case, we now face three foes for certain.

The agents of the Dome, whose wicked shell must be broken to ensure Anarchy and the freedom of All,

The spy ring of Vecna, whose shadowy dealings must not go forgotten

The Iron Bulwark, tied to Bane, whose military might threatens to burn this continent to the ground.

These times are troubling indeed. We decided it was best to go to Layneworth and the Ladder at this point, to seek information about the North and the Bulwark. Perhaps in the midst of this brutal war, we would find answers. We slept for the night, enjoying the hospitalities of the church, but Kilroy went off to finish the dark deed demanded of him by his God. Nobody told him of the phalluses that had been drawn upon his face, and perhaps that is for the best. The man preserved some dignity, at least within his own mind. I hope that he renounces his evil past in the next life, so that he might congregate in joy with Omanyte.

Abba Leno, Red Knight of the Helix

2-18-2015

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Of Skeletons and Iron

Good heavens, that spy ring has gone absolutely mad! They laid down their own lives trying to wipe out what they had created, to prevent us from laying our righteous hands upon it, that we might not understand what it is they had wrought. They summoned a foul beast from the shadowfell, at least, we thought it had come from the shadowfell. A prodigiously large falsehood of a skeleton sprang forth from a portaland did battle with us. It threatened to choke the life from my friends with its poisonous breath, the very words and roars from its mouth being vile filth and quite draining to the vigor. I could not allow such disgusting nonsense to stream forth unchecked, and so I leaped into the maw of the beast. It’s onslaught was merciless, but with the helix as my guide, no attack would pierce my side deeply enough to bring me down. Killroy clambered into the miscreant’s eye socket and together, we assailed it from within the belly of the beast while Gough, Carlyle, and Rasta attacked the alien pillars that breathed unnatural life into the portal. With it’s energy source cut off, a final triumphant blow ended our struggle.

Having won, we examined the beast, realizing it to be made of some insidious black metal framework, its hue as though i were gazing into the nightside eclipse, it’s unholy crosswork a wordless chamber of despair. It filled me with unease, but digging deeper we found several magical weapons powering the monstrosity. We appropriated them for our own cause, and set out to report our deeds to the dragon that lives within these caverns, and later to the head of the riverboat guild.

But alas! Admiral Sunglasses visited earlier, and bore ill tidings! The Second Phaumeturgical Dominion was engaged in full scale war with a people not readily known to any!

The heavy weight of this news was softened by the lovely Nugget that delivered it, her demeanour and appearance far more palatable than any Rare Candy. Indeed, Sinneka did spring forth from a barrel most unsuspecting, and told of us here boresom adventures with Admiral Sunglasses. A twinge of jealousy ruffled my tail feathers, as I do dislike that man so, but there are larger matters we must attend to! She told us of the nature of the invaders to the North, as it so happened that they arose from beyond the Cosmos! This “Iron Bulwark” was almost certainly those dastardly postman murderers that worshiped Bane! Filthy goblins! We thanked her, and told her of our plan to visit the Church of Helix, where we would receive further guidance and decide on our path.

With our new hot air balloon ship, we would make the journey in record time! We shoved off without delay, and as Captains of this vessel we bore spectacle to a beautiful sunset as we made our final approach!

Captain Killroy keeps dragging that unconscious necromancer around. It is starting to unnerve me, but I dare not question him. It is a matter between him and his God, it is not my place to intervene. But for that man’s sake, I hope that Helix guides him past this ledge.

Acting Captain Abba Leno, Red Knight of the Helix
Stardate 2-18-2015

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Final Battle: Star Screm
Return of the Screm

[WIP]
After their righteous victory over the Mega-jerk Kupola who doesn’t understand anything; the party rests in the castle one last time before leaving the Silver City for good.

A flying vehicle of which Killroy assumed to be Starscrem’s fatter older brother flies around the city’s main castle and blows up the Angry Sun Cannon mounted on top. The Vehicle flies away to the nearby remains of a forest fire.

Killroy keeps the first watch and carefully try’s the study the flying vehicle’s intentions within the forest and discovers the same school of necromancy is being used on a large scale to summon large numbers of zombie animals.

However; Killroy is sure that the party can rest by the time the zombies arrive and lets them sleep for the danger that is to come.

The next morning, Killroy informs the party of the approaching zombie horde. Killroy and Abba set up additional barricades on the lower floors while the rest of the party prepare to escape through the aqueducts.

[Notes:]
Starscrem pings Killroy’s sword as a means to track the party.
Party makes their way over to the water proccessing building where Starscrem eventually finds them and Churazy shit happens.

Carlyle teleports onto the ship and Abba slams it into the ground.

Killroy gets Sharidon and Holly to a safe location and intercepts the ship as it attempts to get back into the air.

Ship gets wrecked

Starscrem gets pooped on; then wrecked.

Party stops ship from self-destructing.

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Battle with Kupola
Killroy Wasn't Here For This Event

[WIP]

DRAGONS BURNING IN THE SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN~!

Kupola splits into several miniature Kupolas for some reason.

Abba does some radical Kupola stomping.

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Bones and Beholders
Narcoleptic Edition

[WIP]

Enter castle… go through a room with a mini beholder; wreck its shit… he also had two Dome Posessed Knight Armors Helping him. Get some sweet loot.

Barricade for the night; set up sweet traps. Spider Domes and Poison Cloud Scouts.

Adventurers go through a garden area and randomly fall asleep constantly and are preyed upon by some Creeping… Darkness thing?

Fight a Kirby Final Boss Blob monster…. Killroy with his necrotic defenses destroys the monster from the inside.

Find a Bag of Holding full of Condiments; some sweet fire and frost knives… a refrigerated barrel…

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Kupola's Experiment
Green Dragon Marionettes and Warlock Flogging

[WIP]

Kupola forces The Band of Jerks to fight against the Dome Infused Skeleton of a Green Dragon.

Carlyle make poor choices and almost gets himself killed by poison; Killroy saves his life from the dragon but only to end up kicking the shit out of him after Carlyle falls off the roof of a building & Killroy critically fails his heal check.

The Kupola gets buttmad and uses his Angry Sun cannon to harras The Party like a magnifying-glass to ants.

Major Forest Fire

Wolf vs. the Snake

Midget Bear Cave

Gough’s Greed

Finally made it to the damn castle.

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Star Screm
Cinderfall Strikes Back

[WIP]

Starfallcrem is all like “I’m a jerk and I’m gonna get in your way when you’re trying to hide and sneak past dome scouts; then I’m gonna run away like a jerk.”

When the party tries to rest in the cellar of an old university….
Cremstark is then all like. “I’m a twerk for tampa and I’m gonna raise an undead dire bear for an unbearable bear of a battle, but oh wait; a crystal dome is all up in my grill and wrecking my shit with three ghost heros.” And then The Boobs end up saving Scremstar from the crystal only for him to fly away like a lil’ bitch.

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The Silver City, Quenya Caras.
Transforming Ornothopter Men and Shadowjerks

The Party kidnap Domnall Sheridan & Holly Marama who must now explore the fabled “Silver City”; of which was not really made out of silver and was in fact infested with dome monstrosities much to The Party’s dismay.

After spending five hours attempting to communicate with a shrub, The Party began to search every nook & cranny of the city in search of valuable riches and magical items to aid them in their fight against Advocates of the Dome; but are later met with a fiery ambush as some slippery secret Shadowmen lead by the terrible transforming telepathic Cinderfall Starscrem got the drop on the group. One sassy Shadowmen snuck a surprising self-sacrificing strike upon Killroy’s sunsword; erasing all the data within it. The Party were trapped inside a burning building, but managed to fend off the arrogant aggressors just in time to escape their flaming fate through a nearby window and making Starscrem look like a fool in the process.

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Sheridan's Showdown
and the Maw of the Mine Cart

The Party ventured further into the altered space created by Domnall Sheridan, where they were attacked by a serpentine construct made of mine carts.

It began to burrow through the caverns as they clashed with it. Eventually, it would be ended by the return of Carlyle, who leapt from high atop the entrance to the mine shaft to come crashing down upon the creature. He would narrowly endure the dramatic maneuver, but the mine cart construct would not.

Further below, The Party confronted Sheridan himself, who had been granted some sort of magical formal wear by the mysterious powers of Xiphosura Kabuto.

Various members of the group sought to deceive and reason with Sheridan, eventually convincing him to summon some aspect of Kupola into the area.

The discussion confirmed that Sheridan’s powers as a Steward of Xiphosura had been granted by Kupola, and that this also obligated him to guard the entrance to Quenya Caras.

Kupola also offered a different perspective on the fate of the city, claiming that the uncharacteristically expansionistic empires that arose in ancient times were the result of the influence of Xiphosura Kabuto.

Furthermore, Kupola claimed that the first Dragonstorm was not the result of mortal greed, but instead the result of a spatial anomaly. When Xiphosura Kabuto attempted to manifest on this plane to make peace between the ancient nations, a rift opened to Tytherion, allowing Tiamat’s minions to plunder the gathered civilizations.

Kupola questioned why a place were the Far Realm was near also seemed to border Tytherion, since such an anomaly would usually result in a very different sort of terrible thing.

Kupola also stated that preventing another such incident was its’ goal in coming to Quenya Caras.

Eventually, negotiations broke down, and The Party did battle with Domnall Sheridan. After weakening him, Killroy sought to force Sheridan to yield, and seemed successful. However, his mystical tuxedo, formed from an otherworldly silk, continued to maintain a fighting stance after Sheridan had passed out.

It would not be long afterwords, that The Party would emerge from the altered space victorious.

A combination of medical science and Abba’s religious knowledge would be put into practice to free Sheridan from the creature that made him a Steward of Xiphosura, revealing much about the mechanics of this strange transformation.

After a brief reunion with Holly Marama, all parties involved settled in to use the camp for it’s intended purpose, getting some much-needed rest.

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Shadow of the Comet-Fairy
Generosum Magi Domnall☆Magica

The next day, The Party departed from Layneworth and set off into the Unbounded Wildwood to the Northeast.

They followed the river towards the town of Eryn-Ost, until a group of drakes came stomping through the underbrush, looking for their next meal.

The Party met them in battle, with Killroy striking down the large Rage Drake leading the pack, while one of the spitting drakes was captured by the efforts of Carlyle and Rhasta.

With the once-thunderous lizards in retreat, The Party tracked the other spitting drake back to it’s nest, where they obtained several eggs.

With a massive scaly skin and three eggs in town, The Party arrived at the Elven outpost of Eryn-Ost. The local sheriff seemed suspicious of The Party, until Abba challenged him to a test of strength.

Layer, when they began discussing changes to the local government, he become suspicious of them yet again. However, they did pick up some rumors about a mysterious ‘comet fairy’, and the ‘rabbit lady’ at the library.

It was here that they inquired of Holly Marama, a Fey Warlock and former adventurer, about recent events. She explained that she believed that the ‘comet fairy’ that had been seen around town was a Fey patron of some sort, seeking to enter into a contract with a would-be warlock. She noted that it had last been seen near the home of Domnall Sheridan, an archaeologist.

After their knocks at the door went unanswered, The Party forced their way into Sheridan‘s home, and discovered the ’comet fairy’ waiting within, burning atop a table without consuming the maps beneath it.

It identified itself as Kupola, although The Party’s arcane investigations indicated that it was most likely some smaller aspect of the entity.

Kupola declared that it had helped Domnall Sheridan locate the lost silver city of Quenya Caras. It had done so by entering into a contract by which Sheridan had become a Steward of Xiphosura.

Abba identified this as the sinister work of his nemesis, but Gough and Killroy seemed interesting in determining just what sorts of powers Kupola could confer. However, holy powers drove Kupola from the home before they could discuss this further.

Looking over Sheridan’s notes, it was clear that a constantly shifting series of crossings to the Feywild had frustrated his efforts to locate Quenya Caras, and that Kupola had come to him in his desperation with a solution.

The Party retired to the inn, prepared to resume their adventures in the morning. However, Carlyle remained at Sheridan’s home, looking through his notes on the lost Silver City.

What unfolded was a long and ancient history of mighty nations of Elves and Dwarves who, seemingly uncharacteristically, sought to claim the continent for themselves, until an event known as the first Dragonstorm. Quenya Caras was apparently lost in this draconic conflict.

What caught Carlyle’s eye was that unusual ambitions of the King of the Silver City were credited in part due to his having consulted the stars on matters of civil order. It appeared that The Dome may have been responsible for the course of his ancient nation.

An hour past midnight, Carlyle returned to awaken the The Party and warn them of the dire implications of his findings.

They also awakened Holly to seek her knowledge given this new information. She consulted with her rabbit-like patron Isil, who agreed to aid The Party in trying to pursue Kupola to the Silver City.

As the group journeyed through the night, a terrible storm blew in from the sea to the south, making the journey even more harsh than usual. Eventually, they were able to navigate their way to the Fey crossings that hid the ancient city.

With Abba’s knowledge of Kupola‘s powers, Carlyle and Killroy’s magic, and Isil’s Fey powers, The Party was able to track Sheridan to a camp on the outskirts of the ruins of the Silver City.

Sheridan was in the midst of eating breakfast as The Party arrived. He did his best to remain polite, but it was clear that the differences between him and Abba could not be resolved peacefully.

Producing a small hemisphere that resembled the Emissary, Sheridan released his powers, ensnaring The Party in a strange labyrinth that seemed to reflect his own mind and desires.

The Party battled their way through the first floor of his bizarre construct before descending deeper within . . .

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